Advice from a comedy magician

I recently sent the following email to the Portsmouth-based comedy magician Roy Charles:

Dear Roy Charles,

I note with interest that you are a “comedy magician” – a comedian who also performs magic. Congratulations – this is quite an impressive balancing act (not literally – unless you also do tightrope walking as part of your act!) (just a bit of fun).

I am writing to you today in your capacity as a comedian rather than your capacity as a magician, as I would be grateful if you could offer me some “comedy advice” (that is, some advice regarding comedy, rather than some amusing advice!) (again, just a bit of fun).

However, before I ask for your advice, I would first like to express my amazement at the magic you perform. I haven’t seen your act specifically, but I have seen other magicians on television (for example Paul Daniels – “I like him, quite a lot!”). Do you do the trick where you guess which card somebody has picked?

Now here is where I ask for your advice.

I have come up with a joke which I think is very funny. The joke is as follows:

When cooking an Indian meal the other evening, I was asked whether there would be any rice with the curry, to which I replied, “No, there is naan.”

This is very funny because the word “naan” sounds like the word “none”. So while one interpretation of my response could be “No, there is none (i.e. no rice)”, what I am actually saying is, “No, there is naan (bread).”

To clarify, the joke works because naan bread is often used as an alternative to rice in Indian cuisine (although one can have both) (or neither), thereby allowing for the interchangeability of “none” and “naan”. As you may know, many other jokes work on the same basis, where one word is interchangeable with another similar-sounding word. In this case, “none” and “naan” are the similar-sounding words.

My question is – do you think I could use this joke as part of a successful stand-up comedy routine? Obviously I would have to come up with some other jokes to go with it, to complete my “act”. I note that your act is around 50 minutes in duration. How many other jokes would I need to achieve something similar (bearing in mind I won’t be performing any magic)?

With many thanks in advance for your help.

Daniel Drummond Harvey

I have not received a reply. I wonder if he (accidentally) made my email “disappear” with his magic skills?! This is a joke I could perhaps incorporate into my stand-up comedy routine, if I include a section on magic and/or emails.