I recently wrote to the President of the United States, Donald Trump:
Dear Donald Trump,
Many congratulations on being the President of the United States!
As you may know, since you have been the President of the United States, you have done many things, some of which have been in “the news”, or “the fake news” as you call it. Honestly, I don’t know what to believe!
Fortunately, we don’t need to rely on “fake news” to hear what you have to say, because we can get it straight from the horse’s mouth (not that you are a horse) through “Twitter” and tape recordings.
I very much enjoy reading your “Tweets”, although there are a lot of them! It is a wonder you have time to play golf! Have you thought of publishing your “Tweets” in a book, for non-Twitter users to enjoy? I’m sure it would sell as many copies as, if not more copies than, your other books including “Think Like A Billionaire”, “Think Like A Champion” and “Think Big And Kick Ass”.
I noticed that you have written a lot of “Tweets” about the environment, which is clearly a subject close to your heart. And so it should be! (Close to your heart).
Your most recent “Tweet” regarding the environment said “In the East, it could be the COLDEST New Year’s Eve on record. Perhaps we could use a little bit of that good old Global Warming that our Country, but not other countries, was going to pay TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS to protect against. Bundle up!”
I do hope you weren’t “out and about” in the “East” on “New Year’s Eve”. If you were, then I hope at least you wore adequate clothing so that you didn’t become too cold. Or perhaps you cuddled up to your wife Melania to keep warm (if she let you)!
When I was a child, I once became very cold when I spent a little too long outside in low temperatures without adequate clothing. Fortunately, I was able to go inside a short while later, and before I knew it I was quite comfortable again. Thank goodness for Bovril, the hearty beef paste which can be added to hot water to enjoy as a drink!
What this story illustrates is that some things happen in the short term, without necessarily signifying a long term pattern. In this instance I was very cold for a short amount of time, but most of the time I am quite warm.
In your “Tweet”, you are making a mistake by confusing short-term weather fluctuations with long-term climate patterns. I don’t blame you – scientific facts can be very confusing!
To help, I have written a “Tweet” for you to “Tweet”. It is as follows:
“A very cold day is just a single data point, not a long-term trend. We will still have very cold days, but the gradual influence of climate change is making them increasingly rare!”
In order to really drive the message home, I have also produced a range of t-shirts with the same message – perhaps you would like to buy some for your family and friends (such as Scott Baio from “Happy Days”)? They are available here.
Wishing you the best of luck for 2018 and/or the rest of your presidency, whichever is shorter!
Why not buy a t-shirt for yourself? They are a lot of fun, and are also quite practical.