Designs for Daniel O’Donnell

I recently sent the following email to pop singer Daniel O’Donnell:

Dear Daniel O’Donnell,

We have (at least) one thing in common – we are both called Daniel.

I am writing to you because I have designed an exclusive range of accessories for people just like you and me, emblazoned with the slogan “Hello there! My name is Daniel.”

The range of accessories currently includes a t-shirt and a travel mug.

You may be asking yourself, why would I want a t-shirt and/or travel mug emblazoned with the slogan “Hello there! My name is Daniel”?

Allow me to explain.

When you are attending a social function (e.g. a barbecue), the t-shirt will save vital time on introductions. I don’t know about you, but when I am attending a social function the need to continuously repeat the words “Hello there! My name is Daniel” becomes more than a little tiresome, especially when you are doing it for the tenth or twentieth time (depending on the number of guests at the function).

Saving time on introductions will help to avoid missing out on other more desirable aspects of the conversation, such as discovering a mutual fondness for Tuscany.

The slogan on the travel mug has a less functional purpose – it is more “just a bit of fun” (although the travel mug itself is a highly functional item, keeping your drinks warm in all weathers, thanks to the aluminium casing’s excellent thermal qualities).

I hope that you enjoy these items as much as I hope you do!

Yours sincerely,
Daniel Drummond Harvey

Daniel O’Donnell has neither responded to my email nor purchased a t-shirt or travel mug. I can only assume he is currently too busy touring his latest album “Songs from the Movies and More”.

The good news is that I have decided to open up this offer to my readers. Simply visit the “shop” page on my website to view and purchase the items mentioned above. Either item will make an ideal Christmas present for that special someone in your life named Daniel.

Introducing The Stamp Aligner

I recently sent the following email to Paul Simister, a “Profit Coach” from Birmingham:

Dear Paul Simister,

I am writing to you about a new product I have created, called “The Stamp Aligner”. I truly believe it could change the way some people apply postage stamps to envelopes.

The Stamp Aligner is made of two small lengths of wood (I am currently using pine, but in the future I plan to use harder woods, such as oak, beech or cherry) joined at a right angle. This right angle is crucial to the correct functioning of The Stamp Aligner.

In early prototypes the lengths of wood were joined with one small nail. However, I discovered it was possible to accidentally twist the join (for example, if The Stamp Aligner is dropped onto a stone floor), thus rendering the angle other than perpendicular. Therefore the lengths of wood are now joined with two small nails.

Using The Stamp Aligner is a simple three-step process:

First, you align the outside edges of The Stamp Aligner with the outside edges of the envelope (the recommended location being the top right-hand corner of the envelope).

Second, you align the stamp (having been moistened or, if self-adhesive, removed from the backing paper) with the inside edges of The Stamp Aligner, and apply it to the envelope.

Third, you remove The Stamp Aligner and, hey presto, the top and right edges of your stamp are equidistant (17mm) from the top and right edges (respectively) of your envelope.

I hope you will agree that The Stamp Aligner has the potential to be a reasonably popular product.

Up until now, as you will have noticed, I have been referring to the product as The Stamp Aligner, which I believe is a perfectly good descriptive moniker. However, my friends say that the product would be much more popular if it had a “fashionable” name, and they think I should call it “the stampaligna” (all lower-case).

I would be very grateful if you could tell me which name you think would be best.

Yours sincerely,
Daniel Drummond Harvey

I received the following response:

Daniel

I love it when people come up with innovative ideas.

However I have doubts on how many people have a strong desire to have stamps perfectly aligned on envelopes.

Before worrying about names and protecting intellectual property rights through patents and trademarks, I’d focus on whether people see it as a problem and whether they would be prepared to spend time and money correcting it.

Best wishes

Paul

Paul Simister
Your Profit Coach
Helping business owners to profit through differentiation

I’m not sure Paul Simister fully appreciated the concept.

Alan Whicker’s Around The World In A To Z

Here is my email to Mr. Bruce Popek of Design Innovation, a product design and development company based in Avon:

Dear Mr. Bruce Popek,

I have a rather fantastic idea for a children’s game called “Alan Whicker’s Around The World In A To Z”.

You will notice that the name sounds a little like “Around The World In Eighty Days” (if you don’t include the “Alan Whicker” part). This is intentional – as you will see, using “A To Z” instead of “Eighty Days” is more descriptive of the way the game works as well as avoiding potential copyright problems.

Here is how the game works.

Armed with a pencil and a piece of paper, between 2 and 36 players have to take it in turns to travel from one country to the next (not literally, just as a game), with the aim of circumnavigating the earth (again, not literally).

Here comes the “A To Z” reference.

The players have to start at any country beginning with the letter “A” (e.g. Australia) and then travel to any country beginning with the letter “B” (e.g. Bosnia and Herzegovina) and then travel to any country beginning with the letter “C” (e.g. Chad) and then travel to any country beginning with the letter “D” (e.g. Djibouti) and then travel to any country beginning with the letter “E” (e.g. Equatorial Guinea) and then travel to any country beginning with the letter “F” (e.g. France) and so on, right through the alphabet, until the winner arrives at any country beginning with the letter “Z” (e.g. Zambia).

Each player has a travel budget of £1,000, so they will have to choose their destinations carefully. They can use a website such as http://www.expedia.co.uk to find the cheapest fares currently available. They will also need to think twice about choosing comfort over value when deciding between first and economy class seats.

If inoculations are required to enter their chosen country, they should miss a turn to allow time to visit the doctor.

Interestingly, there are three letters (O, Q and Y) which only have one corresponding country (Oman, Qatar and Yemen respectively). Experienced players will learn to take this into account.

A potential complication is that two letters (W and X) have no corresponding countries. However, I am confident that between us we could come up with a solution for this.

You may remember that the game is called “Alan Whicker’s Around The World In A To Z”. I hope you will agree that endorsement from a celebrity would be worthwhile. If Alan Whicker won’t agree to it, you could try Lisa Stansfield.

Yours sincerely,
Daniel Drummond Harvey

He replied as follows:

Hi Daniel-

Not sure this is much of a children’s game and if any would know who Allan Whicker is.  Since the game relies heavily on the use of a computer or internet, I am not sure of its best format or how to market the concept.

Good luck and Happy New Year!

Bruce Popek

Design Innovation Inc.

I replied as follows:

Dear Mr. Bruce Popek,

I must admit to being a little confused by your response, until I realised that you had made a small (but forgivable) mistake. You seemed to think I was suggesting celebrity endorsement by Allan (with two “L”s) Whicker, a chartered accountant from Winnipeg, and you were indeed quite right to think few children would know who he is. In actual fact, I was suggesting celebrity endorsement by Alan (with one “L”) Whicker, presenter of the long-running documentary series “Whicker’s World”.

I was interested in your idea of “Alan Whicker’s Around The World In A To Z” as an internet computer game. I must admit, this hadn’t occurred to me, but then I suppose that is why you are the designer and not me! I have checked, and the domain name http://www.alanwhickersaroundtheworldinatoz.com is currently available, so I suppose we should bagsy it before somebody else does. Do you want to do that or shall I?

Anyway, I look forward to working with you!

Yours sincerely,
Daniel Drummond Harvey

He replied as follows:

Hello Daniel-

Design Innovation has a 23 year history of designing and developing toys and games.  Our current clients range from Fortune 100 companies to entrepreneurs and inventors.  We can certainly help you get your game concept off the ground and ready for either production or for licensing to an existing game or toy company.  We are not an inventor ‘rep’ or agent – someone who can help sell or license your game concept.

If you would like discuss you game in greater detail and have us review the idea we would be glad to help.  Design Innovation has $250 fee for this consulting service. After that initial review we will provide an outlined proposal of the steps we decide on and the costs for each Phase.  Before we enter into conversation we will need to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement, NDA.  I have attached one of ours that you can review, use as is or modify.  If you have one of your own we would be glad to use it.

Sincerely,
Bruce Popek

Design Innovation Inc.

I replied as follows:

Dear Mr. Bruce Popek,

Thank you for the detailed information about your company. After careful consideration I am pleased to tell you that I would be very happy to work with you. I am grateful for your kind offer of a £250 initial payment, which I accept. I look forward to discussing the serious money when we meet!

I must admit that I thought you were based in Avon in the West of England, but having checked your website, I now see that you are based in Avon in Connecticut in the United States of America. No matter. I have found a flight from London Heathrow to Hartford Bradley International Airport, which I believe is reasonably close to you. The flight arrives at 9.25pm on Tuesday 3rd January. It is probably easiest if I book the flight and you pay me back when you see me. As this is business, I assume Business Class is acceptable, but please let me know by tomorrow if not.

I would be very grateful if you could collect me from the airport. Please carry a sign that says “Daniel Drummond Harvey, inventor of  the new game sensation ‘Alan Whicker’s Around The World In A To Z'”. Not only will I be able to find you, we will be getting some free publicity to boot!

Also, do you have a spare bedroom available for me? If not, I’m sure I shall be quite comfortable on the sofa. Please bear in mind that I am allergic to dried fruit.

I won’t book a return flight at this stage, as we can’t be sure how long it will take us to “hammer out” all the details. I estimate no more than a month or so, with two or three return trips to tie up the loose ends (or you would be most welcome to visit me in Winchester, but you would have to make do with a camp-bed in the children’s playroom, and I should warn you that the hamster can be rather noisy).

I will bring a copy of the signed contract with me.

Yours sincerely,
Daniel Drummond Harvey

He replied as follows:

Hello Daniel-

After reviewing your December 28, 2011 email, Design Innovation is not interested in meeting with you and reviewing your game concept.  We feel the logistics of distance and working arrangements will be an expensive obstacle, and that arrangements that you are suggesting are not acceptable to our professional standards and normal business means.

Perhaps you can find a development group or company in the UK to provide the design services you idea requires.

Good luck with your game.

Sincerely,
Bruce Popek

Design Innovation Inc.

I wonder whether I should have pushed the Lisa Stansfield proposition a bit more.